Summary Of Day #3

Well you already know the day started out very slowly and sickly. We started out the day with the meds the doctor gave us. I kinda think the medicine loosening up the yuck in her chest made her feel worse then better.

I have several reasons for linking this sickness to the grieving process.

#1 when I'm stressed I get sick. I think this happens to a lot of us. The mind is so powerful.

#2 after Mirna threw up a little she started crying which is normal. However then she laid on her pillow and continued this mournful quiet crying for about thirty minutes. She was in a zone just staring and body curled up and a little rigid. I sat behind her as tears rolled down her cheeks one after the other. I told her I was so sorry, that I love her, that daddy loves her, that it will be better soon over and over.

After a while I just sat and rubbed her back and played with her hair while we sat and she cried. About 30 minutes into this it was time to take her Tylenol. I really felt we needed her to take it to keep her fever down. She was beginning to feel hot and clammy. I told her that we needed her to take this medicine. She would not look at either of us but just kept crying.

I felt we needed to kindly win obedience and trust so I prayed in the back of my mind. Then I got on eye level with her and told her that it was very important that she take this medicine. That it would help her feel better. I told her that she must remember last night when she had pain in her mouth. That mommy and daddy gave her medicine and it helped her not have pain. I told her that daddy and mommy love her very much and she must listen to us. At that point she reached out to take the water and took her Tylenol. Praise the Lord! Our first small battle won. With each one we win we gain more of her heart.

At this point it was like a light switch turned on and our Mirna came back. She smiled a little smile and asked if she could take a bath. I said yes YES!! She played and played and played in the water. The tub plug leaks a bit so I had to refill it 3 times but WHO CARES. If this little girl wants to take a 45 minute hot bath far be it from me to stop her. She washed and conditioned her hair twice and had a ball!! The way she enjoys things brings me joy and pain. It's wonderful to see her eyes light up at a hot bath but it makes me aware that this isn't something normal for her. That hot baths and puzzles and pink pajamas and pretty shoes are all very foriegn.

OH BY THE WAY ON THIS TOPIC!!! Anyone who thinks girls are girly because of society's influence I DARE you to meet Mirna!!!! Raised with no running water, no electricity, no TV, no magazines AND AS GIRLY AS YOU CAN GET!!! She loves loves loves to dress in pink and wear nail polish and jewelry. It is so cute.

Anyway the rest of the day was pure joy. Daddy and Mirna did the puzzle AGAIN! He had the concierge see if they had more at the pharmacy but no such luck. That's okay because I know he secretely loves doing it. Yesterday she got destracted and quit doing the puzzle and Russ finished it and TIMED himself. I love that goofball. So I think this is 8 times that the puzzle has been done. Then later they both timed themselves. 16 minutes is the record folks!!

Russ is beyond good with Mirna. He is SPECTACULAR. He is so sweet and kind and loves to play. She is completely enamored of him. OH AND.... genious that he is Russ discovered why she won't talk to Alex the translator. SHE HAS A CRUSH ON HIM!!! Oh no. Not already. He darted up from bed the other night while I was blogging and said, "Angel, maybe she likes him." I thought huh maybe. So yesterday I asked if she thinks Alex is handsome. She smiled and said yes. I asked her if that is why she won't talk to him and she nodded. OH MY GOODNESS.

Well we'll keep watching this not trusting men thing but maybe we were thinking to deeply! Crushes already. Uggggg..

She has started giving both of us little spontanious shows of affection and asking for photos of us hugging and being together. She has also started asking us to sit by her and yesterday she crawled into Russ' lap to look at pictures. The joy of these moments is wonderful.

She is SO curious very smart. I think she has a fear of learning. Our translator Alex said that it is very common in a village like the one she comes from for no one to have any education. If a child wants to learn something they are scolded for trying to be better than everyone. Especially girls are often told to stick to learning their work. So her foster mother has had trouble getting her to remember her letters and things. Perhaps part of this may be a small delay or disability which is fine. My gut tells me that most of it is grief. Her mind is so filled with survival and pain and being raised where learning wasn't as valued. They were concentrating on what was important to them. Surviving. Her foster mother, Alex and Russ and I after observing her all feel that with time she will do great.

Already in the last few days we have seen such a change in her. At first if you asked her to say something in English she wouldn't look at you or say it. So Russ and I decided not to ask her to say anything but just say it in English and Spanish sometimes. She started sometimes repeating our words and then asked us how to say a couple of things in English!! She is curious about everything. What is this, what is that, who is it for. Yesterday she pulled out a new tampon that was in my purse and asked what it was. OH NO! I told her it's mommy's and was glad I didn't know enough Spanish to explain that one!!

Yesterday I brought out a bunch of pictures and asked her if she wanted to scrapbook them. OK well I don't know how to SAY scrapbook but I mimed and got the point across. She was VERY excited. She is a natural and did a very good job with her book. I figured she would do a few pages and she would get bored but we finished the whole book yesterday! She kept looking at it over and over.

I also asked her if she would like to give some pictures to her Guatemala Mommy Aracely. ( her birth mommy) She smiled and said yes. So she put pictures in an album by herself. Picked them out very logically without much guidance. She has so many skills. First she put all the pictures of herself (that's what her mommy would want.) Then she put pictures of our house. (again great choice) Then she put pictures of our immediate family. After that the album was full. We decorated it with stickers and I asked her if she would like to write her Guatemala Mommy a letter inside the album. She said yes. She said a couple of things and then got stuck. We would ask her do you want to tell her about this or that. She would say yes or no. Then she would help us with how and what to write. I wrote it for her in Spanish so it's probably bad but her mother will like it I think. Besides I knew she would never open up to the translator about this the way she was with me. I had to jump on it.

She wrote...

I love you very much. I am doing good. I like the chicken and french fries. This is a book of photos of my family in The United States of America. They are visiting me in the hotel. It is very happy. I have a lot of new clothes. I like all of them. Glenda is good also. (that's her foster mom)

I love you,

Mirna

I helped her write her own name and we put her handprint in paint on the back inside cover. I think this was a very theraputic excercise for her. As we did it I told her that I think her Guatemala mommy loves her very much.

Oh, and we showed her pictures of about 7 different rooms decorated different ways. We told her she could pick what she wanted her room to look like. She literally looked through them 1 time and said, "This is the one I like best." Just like that. I'll try to copy the picture onto the blog. Get ready Susarah. We're going to be sewing a lot of PINK!

Oh and today I will try to take pictures of the scrapbook so you can see her fine work! :0) My love to you all.

Angel

A short entry for tonight

Our sweet Mirna is doing MUCH MUCH better. Sharon called the doctor and asked him what we should give Mirna. He told us a couple of medicines to give her. We just told the concierge what we needed and PRESTO! Within thirty minutes we had everything we needed. She woke up happy and feeling well but then had a set back. She threw up just a little and cried for about 30 minutes. I believe this was partly from being sick and partly grief. I might be wrong but I feel like her being sick made her more vulnerable to letting out her emotions. After the thirty minutes of crying and some more Tylenol Mirna was back full force!! This turned out to be a wonderful day for bonding. We still didn't get any miraculous picture time as we never left the room.

I will do my major blog about today in the morning because I feel to wiped out to do it any justice. Sorry to cut it short. Even in these few days I am seeing such a change in her. It is wonderful. How will I not bring her home with me? She is mine in my heart but not on paper. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change and the wisdom to trust your timing.... Good night blogger buddies

:0) Angel

She's sick!

Mirna is still asleep so I have just a moment. Mirna has had a runny nose and cough since she came. We were thinking it was probably just a cold. Then last night at midnight I heard a little voice say in Spanish, " Mommy I need you." I bolted over and asked if she was okay. She was crying quietly. Tears dripping. I woke Russ up. "Russ what is the word for pain???" "Dolor I think" said my groggy hubby. I asked Mirna "Tienes Dolor?" She said yes she had pain and pointed to her mouth. I asked her if it was her boca-mouth or her dientes-teeth. She said her teeth. Russ immediately went to the lobby for Tylenol. While we waited I did full mommy interview. Does this hurt? "No" she would say. Does that hurt? "No" Are you sad too? "No" Are you scared? "No" You only have pain here? "Yes." Does it hurt a lot of days? "No, this is the first time" she told me.

Then it was mommy comfort and guilt time. "Lo Siento Mirna. I'm so sorry Mirna. Pobrecita. Poor baby. Daddy is getting medicine and it will be better soon." Meanwhile thinking, "Bad mommy! Why didn't I bring Children's Tylenol AT LEAST??" Oh well. I'm not supermom. I might as well accept that now. They only had adult Tylenol. (which seems kinda silly when you see how many adoptive families stay here!!) Note to all soon to travel mommies and daddies. BRING LOTS OF MEDICINE.

As soon as we got the Tylenol I had Russ get my little scrapbook picture cutter and cut the pill in three little pieces. She swallowed them with no problem. I took two pills for myself while we were at it cause by that time I had a monster headache. While we waited for the Tylenol to take effect I continued my comforting. She was just dazed looking with quiet tears. Heartbreaking. In 20 min she was starting to come around. By 30 we had our Mirna back. Wanting to do the Barbie puzzle with daddy again. So now daddy and Mirna have done the puzzle 6 times!! I set the alarm for a second dose at 4:30 am so she wouldn't wake up hurting and be afraid to tell us but she could not be woken up. That girl sleeps like a rock! She is still asleep. I know many children deal with change and grief and sickness by sleeping. She has all three going on.

This morning we called Sharon- our main contact and she is calling doctors. Please pray for us. Mirna does NOT like doctors. She is scared. We really didn't want to have to take her our first trip but it's what she needs. I'm glad we were here to get her help quickly.

More later

:0) Angel

A great day #2

Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments and e-mails. We feel so blessed to have so much support. I apologize if I don't get back to everyone right away. I love reading them though!

We had a wonderful day today with our little Mirna. She is a joy! She went to bed with no problems. She said she wanted to sleep in the bed by herself. She crashed till 10 am. She only woke up then because we started getting louder so she would get up and get ready for the zoo.

She woke up very happy. She got in the bath and said that it was hot. She looked surprised. I asked her if she wanted it colder. She said no no it's good! She loved that bath!! Kept pouring the water over her head over and over. She scrubbed her hair with shampoo but seemed confused about the conditioner. I told her it was to make her hair pretty because I couldn't think of the word for soft. Then she ran to put on her outfit. She had carefully chosen it the night before! She also wanted her hair fixed with clips, two rings, a necklace and her hot pink sunglasses!! She LOVES those sunglasses. She also got her purse and put all her little things in it.

Then we met the foster mother in the lobby and took some pictures. Mirna is a complete ham and LOVES to have her picture taken. YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT!! Today was so busy that I didn't get to take many good pictures but tommorrow we are having a relaxed day at the hotel. I'll load on the pictures I have tonight.

After picture time it was off to the zoo!! Mirna seemed to love it. It was a very pretty little zoo. Mirna was so sweet and wanted to hold Daddy or Mommy's hand all day long!! She is such a daddy's girl already. She seemed a little scared of a few animals but had a wonderful time. She wanted to wear her jean jacket even though it was warm because she said she was very pretty in it. I also overheard Mirna tell her foster mother that her daddy is muy guapo- very handsome! Awww so sweet! Daddy is just as sold on Mirna. Today I saw proof that she is his daughter as they ate off the same plate. If you know Russ you know that he doesn't eat after anyone but me, Kaitlyn and now Mirna!

After that we went to the "mall." Which was small but nice. We ate at McDonald's and had to go buy some shoes. I felt so bad because I forgot the tennis shoes that her Nonny bought her. So sorry Nonny. I will bring the other shoes to her in February. I think it turned out to be good because she loved picking out her own shoes. She picked out the kind that light up in the back. We also picked out some white dress shoes because she looked very concerned that we had a white and red Christmas dress but no white shoes!! We also got some shoes for her foster mother's 5 year old boy. Mirna was so excited about her shoes. She kept staring at them and saying I like my white shoes. Thank you for my white shoes.

When we returned to the hotel our translator was there. I had Russ take the kids on a little tour of the hotel and I asked the translator and foster mother a LOT of questions about Mirna. What we found out was mostly what I expected but a little worse. Her conditions were so difficult. She was living in what was most likely a corregated tin house- no electricity, no running water and very little to live on.

Her mother worked every single day washing clothes in the river to make a living. She was not able to spend much time with Mirna. I also asked them about a sizeable scar on Mirna's ankle. They said she recieved an injury during the hurricane that hit her village. She then had to wade through dirty water containing dead animals and it got infected.

At this point her birth mother brought her into foster care. They treated it but it left a scar. The foster mother met the birth mother only one time. She said that she heard the birth mother tell Mirna not to worry. She would be here for awhile then parents from the United States would come and get her. Sweet brave girl.

I thank the Lord for bringing her to us. The foster mother said Mirna is so precious and almost always obedient. She is very happy and helpful. She says that when she is upset she will go lay on her bed and cry for awhile. The foster mother said she is very open about what her life was like before and how she feels about it. This is good news.

After the foster mother went home the translator, Alex came to our room for awhile. We tried to have him talk to her but she wouldn't talk to him. She is very reserved with strangers, especially men. Our translator explained that in his culture men are not often kind or bonded to their little girls. He also explained that children are taught to be very cautious and aware of what is around them when they grow up in the villages (which are poor and often dangerous.)

It is hard to explain how this little 6 year old can be so completely innocent and sweet yet sassy and street smart at the same time. Yet that is what she is. Precious and a bit too wise for her age. When she walks down a street she looks around her as if checking things out. She uses sarcasm and humor as a defense with strangers but means every word. Our translator (who is a strange man to her) asked her a question and she giggled so sweetly and said, "Why would I talk to you. You are a man." He just laughed and said this is what he would expect until she knows him better. He is wonderful and so patient with her. When he is gone she says she likes him. Arggg.

The weird thing is she'll answer me or her Daddy. She seems to already trust Russ. I wonder if it's because he looks different from the men she has known. We will have work to do in helping her realize she is in a safe environment. Yet already it seems she feels safe with us and with her foster mother.

She also has a GREAT sense of humor. While the translator was here she told Russ she wanted to wrestle again. She kept telling him, " Ay vas aver" which apparently is like saying to your kids "I'm coming to get you!" It means "Oh you will see!" She was laughing and laughing. He said to her, "Okay but I'll win." Then she looked at him as sassy and cute as can be and said in spanish, "Bring it on!" We laughed so hard. I'm not sure who won but they had fun. Our translator felt she was doing really great in her bonding.

Other news- we found out that Mirna has been told about the DNA testing next week. She knows she will see her birth mother. They also said we may give a gift and pictures to the agency to give to the birth mother. YEAH! We will get at least one picture of her birth mother but are waiting to find out if we can give them a disposable camera to take more pictures of her.

We have also requested that she go to a special doctor's visit because of her exposure to debris in the hurricane. They are making an appointment. The doctor will do a thorough check up to make sure there are no problems.

On the home front- Kaitlyn is doing well. She decided she wanted to use the potty. (Of course when I'm not there!) Then she wanted to wear panties. Polka Dot let her wear panties as a reward. Later Kaitlyn pee peed on the kitchen floor and called my mom to help. My mom slipped and fell hard!! A couple of hours later my mom's friend came in and Kaitlyn said, "Polka Dot hurt her back cause slipped on my pee pee!!" Oh my goodness! That girl. She is a hoot. The two of these girls together should be hilarious.

Well right now Daddy and Mirna are doing the Barbie puzzle together for the 5th time I think. If I had known she would love puzzles so much I would have bought more. Russ may go to the store to get more tommorrow. They are also watching Veggie Tales en Espanol. She loved the dancing cucumber song. You Veggie Tales people know what I'm talking about right? Escuchen el papino, como un Leon.....

Tommorrow we will rest and hang out here. Take pictures I hope.

:0) Angel