I'm feeling stressed

Overwhelmed.... tired.... leaps of faith can get exhausting. It's a funny thing though. It seems that the part right before you leap is the hardest.

So have you seen the Indiana Jones where he has to take the "Leap Of Faith"? Okay I know some of you have heard me talk about this one before but come on I've been at this place quite a bit! Several years back (as we were making the decision about whether we should go to MBA school) our pastor talked about faith. Believing in what you cannot see. He showed that clip of Indiana Jones. He has to cross an invisible bridge over a huge cavern. He "knows" the bridge is there but he can't see it. He has to take that "leap of faith."

It was a light bulb moment for me. I knew at that moment that we were supposed to take a leap of faith and go to MBA school. Here I am again, years later in the same spot again for a different reason.

Okay so here is the deal. Yesterday I talked to our wonderful case worker. She told me to expect a referral in the next month or two. WOW!!! YEAH!!! Amazing! Exciting! Thrilling!! RIGHT?????

Yes, that was my first response too!! I'm SO PUMPED! Our little girl is going to be born soon. Things are flying. It's like a miracle in motion.

Then comes my second response....... (not so impressive and full of faith)

When we get a referral we've got to come up with A LOT of money. A LOT!!! How are we going to do that?? Don't get me wrong. It's not like we haven't been saving, planning, strategizing. If you know my husband you know we have been. It's just scary you know? Passing out big train loads of money. Trusting God to have your back while you drain your savings to bring home your little girl from Guatemala.

I think most things worth doing in life are overwhelming. Don't you think? Kids?? No question! Moving to a new state or country? Yep! Taking a new job? Uh huh! It's all scary. We take a plunge and learn as we go.

I remember how badly Russ and I wanted to have a baby when I got pregnant with Kaitlyn. We were so excited. It happened the first month we tried and we were THRILLED. Then I had this moment of STARK TERROR!! Are we ready for this?? Can we afford a baby? What are we doing? Of course Kaitlyn is the joy of our lives and I thank God daily that we took that scary plunge into parenthood. What would we have missed if we hadn't? I can't even fathom life without my little precious jewel.

I know in my heart that my little Guatemalan Princess is worth that plunge too! I'm just getting so close to the leap!!! I get scared. She will be the next perfect decision, the next scary plunge into something worthwhile.