Well it's nine pm Christmas night and we are burning a DVD for Mirna. We did a tour of the house and taped messages from mommy and daddy which Tia Bek kindly translated for us. We are also putting footage of our Christmas celebration. Christmas has been amazing this year. SO MUCH FUN!!! We had a wonderful time with all the family. I'll post pictures soon.
Also last week our good friends Sam and Wendi threw us a surprise shower!! It was wonderful and so many friends came. I was COMPLETELY shocked and had so much fun. We have so many wonderful things for our Mirna/ Zoe. I couldn't believe how many people showed up the week of Christmas to celebebrate with us. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE WE LEAVE TOMMORROW?? I am so excited. We are almost there. In 18 hours we will meet our sweet girl. YEAH!!! I will post lots of updates and pictures...
Now the yucky part...
I got Christmas pictures of Mirna and she looked UPSET. Okay I know kids get upset but you've seen her pictures and she is always smiling ear to ear. In these she looks like a POW with a santa hat on. It makes my heart ache because I can't know what the problem is. It's just hard not to go crazy thinking about what is wrong. Did she hear the doctor discuss DNA testing in a couple of weeks with her foster mom? Does she know her mommy will be there? Is she sick? Did she just get in trouble or it's past lunch time? Is she missing her birth mommy at Christmas? ARGGGGG!!! So that's why I've been working on a fabulous machine that will actually clone my body so that I can move to Guatemala and still be here. PURE GENIOUS right?? I am SOOOO glad that we are going to see her tommorrow. Then I can ask her what was wrong.
I know it might sound silly but these pictures really pushed me to the brink. It's a real test of my belief in God's faithfulness. I mean I look at how faithful God has been in every step of this process. Why would he not be there to protect her now? I truly believe that He is. I used to read the Old Testament and wonder how the Isrealites could continue to doubt God after all the miracles they saw. How could they not see that God is faithful??? Now I understand. I truly feel that my test is about God's faithfulness. Do I believe that He is who I say He is? Can He truly care for my little girl? So much of my life is my illusion of control. God has been parting the Red Sea for our family and now I'm wondering if we'll get wet!! Yesterday I felt like Peter walking on water and then I looked down at the waves. Then I started to sink. I gotta get back up and walk on water!
Next time I blog I will be in Guatemala!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:0) Angel
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